When it comes to getting your message out, or not as the case may be, you may be your own worst enemy. Self-sabotage plays a very real role in us not achieving the success that we deserve. The reasons for that are as varied and unique as we are, but the end result is the same – a lack of the success we say we are working to achieve.
The easiest way to kick self-sabotage to the curb is to focus on getting, and staying, out of your own way. There are several ways to do that… notice I didn’t say that it’s easy! But by being mindful of your thoughts and practicing new behaviours consistently, you can beat self-sabotage and claim your success.
Here are three things you can do to change your habits and your mindset.
Ultimately, you are responsible for yourself and your actions. Everything you do to sabotage your own efforts is a result of choices that you make. And until you admit that and take ownership of your actions, you can’t get past the problem to find a solution.
Taking some time for self-reflection is the first step in figuring out what your self-sabotage habits are. Look back at each decision you made that brought you to your current situation, and see what you did and why. Write everything down that you can think of for each situation, and when you are done you should be able to see patterns that contribute to your self-sabotage. The key here is to be objective. There is no place for emotion in this exercise even though your emotions likely played a role in getting you to where you are now.
Once you can see your patterns, you can do something about them.
Do Something Different
Sounds easy, doesn’t it?
Now that you know what you do to sabotage yourself, the next step in kicking it to the curb is to change your behaviour. Create new habits and try different approaches to solve the problem instead of resorting to the same old habits you’ve always used. They may be in your comfort zone, but I’m betting that they’re not really all that comfortable when you get right down to it.
Make It Stick
In order to make your new habits stick, you need to consistently put them into practice. According to most experts it takes between 21 and 30 days to create a new habit. It will take you at least that long to completely ditch the self-sabotaging habits and replace them with new, productive and positive habits.
Be mindful, and pay attention to what choices you are making. If you find yourself sliding backwards, stop, accept responsibility for the choices you’re making, and start over again with your new positive habits.
The key to dealing with self-sabotage once and for all is to deal with the underlying fear that holds you back. Once you get past the fear and accept that you are worthy of success, then it becomes much easier to deal with your self-sabotaging actions.
Recognizing that you are sabotaging yourself is the first place to start. Once you realize what you’re doing to yourself, then you can begin working backwards to find out why you have the need to undermine your own hopes and dreams.
Kicking self-sabotaging habits to the curb won’t happen overnight. It took a lifetime of decision making to get you to where you are now so be prepared to do the work to move to a new place where you feel worthy of success.